THE COMPETITION

Runner Up

To: Sir Philip Green

Sir Philip Green,

The high street’s boarded up BHS is, frankly, an eyesore. Every rough sleeper for 50 miles is in its doorway, ruining our town’s image. It’s simply unacceptable.

I’m aware that you weren’t the last owner of the business but its sale for less than the price of an own brand vest has had severe consequences for everyone here, primarily our not reaching the national final of the ‘Town in Bloom’ competition this year for the first time in our 30-year history of entering.

You see, when Linda didn’t attend our planning meeting, I imagined the worst – her having given up gardening – so was relieved, upon calling round, to be met by the sight of Linda pruning her petunias. However, this led me to question why she had let her committee membership lapse. It transpired that she couldn’t afford the membership fee as she lost her pension when BHS collapsed. Without Linda, our floral displays were, at my own admission, sub-par – clearly why we achieved nothing like the success we are accustomed to.

I hope you understand how your actions have ruined lives. We lost ‘Town in Bloom’, and with it, our identity.

Yours sincerely,

Edna Welthorpe