THE COMPETITION

Finalist

To: Theresa May

Dearest Mrs May,

May I begin by formally congratulating your re-election! Who better to preserve our traditional British values?

Following the terrible events in Kensington, I was obviously troubled. As a former resident, I was definitely more profoundly upset than some attention-seeking scoundrels. Having once inhabited a 3-storey abode, I, too, could have been burned to a kettle crisp! Post afternoon tea with some of my dearest friends, I was outraged at their view of that ugly, dilapidated tower.

I expressed my concerns to my MP, in urgent aid that something should be done for their distressing situation. Being the ‘people’s person’, you would have no doubt felt the same about their view had security allowed you to visit a week earlier!

I propose that we destroy that ghastly tower and return the residents back to their homeland. Mr Davis would agree in reducing the immigration levels. Wouldn’t now be perfect? The thought of handing out money that hasn’t been earned is ludicrous! Far better to gift £1.5billion to the DUP, who unlike the alleged ‘victims’, understand that money doesn’t just grow on trees.

In adoration of your wise governance.

Yours sincerely,

Edna Welthorpe (Mrs)